Chapter 4 – It All Started After a Plane Hijacking with Billy Joel

Read Chapter 1 Read Chapter 2 Read Chapter 3 Weyland woke up in a luxurious guest room compared to his previous lodgings with Frank and Lukala. There was a cot, a window with a beautiful view of a cement wall, and a television that he assumed could play porno. First thing was first. He needed to break the…

TMNT: Out of the Shadows – Why It Sucked.

Some of these thoughts also apply to the 2014 TMNT. Also, spoilers ahead. I didn’t have high hopes for the 2014 TMNT, yet was still disgusted by it once I saw it. I had higher hopes for Out of the Shadows (OOTS) because it had Krang, Bebop and Rocksteady, and the Tartaruga Brothers truck. I…

Chapter 3 – It All Started After a Plane Hijacking with Billy Joel

Read Chapter 1 Read Chapter 2 Everything was on fire. Lukala frantically slapped at the fire as it crawled into his hut, thinking, “Wow, this material catches fire really easily and we knew that. Why did we construct our homes out of it?” He also thought it was weird that the gods would be cursing…

Chapter 2 – It All Started After a Plane Hijacking with Billy Joel

Weyland washed up on the shore of an island, unscathed. The sand was as white as cocaine, and it hurt when Weyland snorted it into his wheezing nostrils, thinking it was cocaine. He had landed on an island so remote that it didn’t appear on any maps. It was also ripe with purple foliage, making it…

Chapter 1 – It All Started After a Plane Hijacking with Billy Joel

Chapter 1 It was midnight and the Tokyo airlines flight 881 was halfway to Chennai. Taking red eye flights used to be fun until the movie Red Eye came out. Movies have a tendency to ruin things, like how Pretty Woman ruined hookers. Most of them aren’t as nice and charming as Julia Roberts. Some are even…

Everything Wrong with Captain America: Civil War

Spoilers ahead. In the writer’s room: Writer 1: Let’s have a big moment. How about War Machine dies during the fight between the heroes? Writer 2: Great. That’ll be a huge moment. Let’s have him break his back instead. Writer 1: Definitely! Then we’ll immediately give him robot legs and fix him. Writer 2: Perfect….

Meet Sam. The guy who thinks “intern” means “hooker”

Meet Sam. Sam is like every other 30 year old white male in America except for one thing. Due to an adolescent misunderstanding of the Clinton trial, he thinks that “intern” means “hooker.” Sam sits down with a laptop. He’s frustrated and overworked. His wife, Julia, notices. JULIA Do you need a snack, honey? SAM No….

Here’s Why You Should Never Wear Shoes Inside

Wearing your shoes inside the house can be a hard habit to break. After all, if you leave your shoes outside they might get stolen by a relative/enemy, or once you’re inside there might be a masked gunman waiting for you, leaving you without a shoe to throw at him. The alternative isn’t any better. If you leave…